Hindu Wedding and Ceremony Steps

Ravi's dad kindly took the time to write out specific elements of the Hindu wedding ceremony for me. I hope my Mavvaya's (father in law's) summary will help guests understand more about this beautiful and bonding ceremony. Knowing and reflectiong upon these things has certainly deepened my understanding of the ceremony. Living the messages of the ceremony will surely strenghten the committment Ravi and I will make to one another.

*************************************************

The Hindu wedding is a sacred religious ceremony uniting the bride and groom. It promotes righteous living and sharing of noble values such as truth, honesty, fidelity, dignity, and respect. As such values being included in their daily life, the couple can revere the fulfillment of social, material, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs together.

The rituals are based on the Vedas. The ceremony is conducted in the presence of fire representing a divine and impartial witness to the vows taken by the bride and groom. On the marriage day the bride represents the goddess Lakshmi and groom represents Lord Visnu. The family and friends represent the heavenly bodies witnessing their divine union. During the ceremony flowers are used to signify beauty, caring, joy, and gentleness. Coconuts are used to symbolize inner purity despite outwards appearance. Rice and grain are used to symbolize the food necessary to sustain life. Ghee is used to fuel fire, which represents brightness, purity, light and warmth. Kumkum is used as a sign of good luck and blessings.

Events prior to the wedding ceremony

I. Grah shanty: Prayer to the nine planets of solar system and gods associated with these planets to as them to infuse courage, peace of mind and inner strength to bride and groom to help them endure life’s circumstances or suffering.

II. Welcoming groom and his family.

II. Gowri puja – by bride’s blessings to get blessings by Gowridevi for prosperous marriage.

III. Ganesh puja – invoke Lord Ganesh as his divine grace dispels all obstacles and promotes a successful and peaceful completion of the ceremony.

IV. Punyavachanam – the groom invokes water from all rivers and oceans into a pot. Purifies water with mantras and the now holy water is sprinkles on the alter to purify soul, body, and mind of the couple and to destroy evil spirits.

V. Rakshabandanam – priest ties sacred yellow thread around grooms wrist as a symbol of strength and protection.

VI. Kalyana mandapaprevesam – bride proceeds to the mandap with bridal party while a cloth is held in front of groom.

VII. Kanyadanam – bride’s parents wash grooms feet as a sign of respect and offer brides hand in marriage to groom.

VIII. Shubhamuhurtham – time set for marriage. The bride and groom pace a mixture of brown sugar, bellamy and cumin seeds, jeelakarray on each others’ hands. These symbolize mixture of sweet and bitter tastes signifying the inseparable nature of joyous times and hardships. The curtain is removed.

IX. Madhu parkam – brides mother offers groom panchamrutham (mixture of five shrimp) and wish their life is as sweet as the given drink.

X. Mangalya puja – the priest performs ceremony to bless mangalasutra and wedding rings. Groom ties mangalyam around brides neck with three knots to symbolize the hope for overflowing prosperity, wealth, health, and harmony in their married life.

XI. Thalambralu – showering each other with holy rice to symbolize the hope for overflowing prosperity, wealth, health, and harmony in their married life.

XII. Vivaha homam – the priest lights sacred fire with symbolizes god Asweil as the illumination of mind, knowledge, and happiness. The marital vows are exchanged in front of fire.

XIII. Magalpheras – the couple walks around the fire four times. Each time the bride stops to touch her to a stone in her path symbolizing the obstacles that she will have to overcome. Each circle represents a basic goal of human beings. Dharma (duty and righteousness), artha (monetary accomplishments), kama (energy and passion), moksha (sublime liberation and spiritual illumination). Before the last rotation the brother of the bride stops the couple and makes the groom promise to take care of the sister. Bride takes the lead in the last rotation.

XIV. Saptapadi – seven steps around the fire and then make vows to each other.
I. I promise to respect and honor you through joy and sorrow that life brings us.
II. May we be united in all endeavors we take and may that bond give us inner strength
and happiness.
III. May God grant us health, wealth, happiness, and prosperity.
IV. May we be a constant source of motivation and inspiration for each other to pursue
knowledge, the arts, and services to others.
V. May we be blessed with healthy children and promise to raise them to be loving,
compassionate individuals.
VI. May we always be each others’ beloved spouse, lover, and best friend and be blessed
with a long and prosperous marriage.
VII. May we be true companions and remain life long partners.

XV. The couple exchange ring and garland.

XVI. Laja homam – brides brother offers bride stuffed rice to symbolize his assurance of his life long support. Bride then offers the puffed rice to fire for a long and healthy life for her husband.

XVII. A game is played by placing a ring and coins in a pot of water. It is said that who finds the ring four out of seven times will rule the household.

XVIII. Ashirvadam – blessing by priest and others with sacred rice.

XIX. Mangala harati – families sing traditional song signifying the end of the ceremony.

XX. Farewell – brides family and friends bid her farewell as she leaves to building a life with groom’s family.

Welcome!

Hi all, Sarah here. So we did it, we made a website. We did it in hopes that our wedding/reception/party guests will have the information they need to make it safely and happily to our various events.

But before all that... how 'bout I tell a story of how Ravi and I came to be...

Shortly after I met Ravi, he asked me to go on a special mission during my then upcoming trip to India. He asked me to visit a temple around Agra, Fatehpur Skiri, and remove a red string from the small, white interfaith temple – the burial site of a reclusive Sufi named Salim Chishti.

Ravi place the red string years back when he was applying to medical school. Amidst hundreds of thousands of red strings placed by those seeking a wish to be fulfilled, Ravi placed his in hopes he would get into medical school. A few days later he received a call and was notified he was in fact accepted into medical school. It is said that whoever ties a red string representing a secret wish on the temple’s lattice-work, will certainly have their wish fulfilled.

After wishes are fulfilled, someone else needs to remove the string. And in turn, be able to make a wish of their own. This was what Ravi requested of me.

After a glorious morning spent at the Taj I haggled a cab driver and was off to the mysterious place of wishes, Fatehpur Sikri. An hour and several percieved near death experiences later (cabs are always a dicey experience in India–I had to basically close my eyes and pray to arrive safely), I had arrived solo.

When a Caucasian woman travels alone in India it oftens gains the interest of many. Unruly children chased me around, giggling and throwing huge grasshoppers. Strangers followed me and offered unsolicited advice.

Despite these things, I made it to the tomb, carefully untied a red string, and secured it in my pocket. I had put in so much effort to simply complete my mission, I hadn’t even thought about my own wish. As I was holding my red string to tie, out of no where really, the following wish dropped into my head…

I want to marry Ravi.

I remember being sort of taken aback by this notion and sort of shrugged it off at the time. I dutifully tied my red string and attached my own wish to the lattice-work, just as others had done thousands of times before me.

Though it took more than a few days, a few years later, Ravi fulfilled my wish by asking me to marry him. I said yes.

As you are supposed to keep your red string wishes secret so they come true, I never told a soul, and of course not Ravi. Ravi tells me he knew what my wish was all along. One might say it’s silly to think the red string decided our future, but for us, it is a reminder that perhaps some things are truly beyond reason and that maybe, just maybe, fate does ultimately decide.